Wednesday, 22 August 2012

D for Diagnosis

I saw the lesions on the MRI before the doctor could start pointing them out, and I knew exactly what it meant.  MS.  Multiple Sclerosis. 

Life is surreal sometimes.  For just a moment - just that one moment - you are allowed to leave your body, try and take it all in - take a deep breath - and then return.

When you see your brain, amplified by light and imaged into sections, you turn sort of numb.  "It's not really my brain" you think.  But alas, it is.  And there they are - those little bean-shaped lesions.  Waiting to kick into full-MS-mode.

And then what?  Cry, scream, freak-out, pretend there is nothing wrong.  Yup - all of the above.

But then, a day or two passes, and it's time to figure this thing out.  This "Jumanji-disease" - this uncontrollable gambling-game dysfunction that likes to strike when unexpected.  It prefers females, usually 30-40.  Usually young Moms.  Just like me.  He's (I have decided that MS must be male) a fickle one.

So now, the journey begins.  And I have no choice but to fight it.

"We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have."


  1. Oh Sarah... I'm in awe of you and how you're handling the diagnosis. I can't even begin to put myself in your shoes.

    *hugging you*

  2. Sarah, I have always thought you are truly amazing! You always show such strength and determination in what ever challenges you and your family. You can manage this with style, grace and good health. You are much stronger than MS. Love you lots, Kathy