Last night I cried until my face was red and my eyelids were puffy.
I finally cried.
And I'm not sure what sparked it.
I have been sharing my story with the MS Society, to help bring awareness to the disease and encourage fundraising - so maybe it was that? My entire family has been sick with the flu for a week - maybe it was the exhaustion from that? I had just done my nightly injection, hit a vein, bled everywhere, and was left with a very ugly and sore bruise - could have been that too.
It was an evening that culminated in all the aspects of this I don't like. The exhaustion, the physical marks and scars. And perhaps the hardest - the emotional. Thinking about, remembering, and talking about the moment of my diagnosis. It's a hard memory to process. Still.
But I cried. I got some of that energy out.
It was liberating. I felt free just sitting there, ugly-crying about my MS.
And sometimes, all you need is 10 minutes to freak out.
And funnily enough - the morning comes, life continues School drop-offs are made, rousing games of trains are had. A visit to the book fair excites everyone.
And then you wonder what all the fuss was about.