If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.
People say it when they find out I have MS. People say it if they haven't seen me for a while.
And it seems to be happening a lot lately.
It's a quasi-compliment. The unintentional flattery, to me, becomes that much more obvious. It's as if I am supposed to look bad. Sick. Unhealthy. In need of assistance.
And I want people to know - most mornings at 7am I stand in front of the mirror, already exhausted, trying - so hard - to look good. To look normal. I make a concerted effort to do my hair, put on some makeup.
I do it mostly for me; it makes me confident and well put together.
But I also do it for those who like to comment on appearances. Because, honestly, I don't want to look sick. I don't want those uncomfortable questions to be asked.
But - and here's the most difficult thing to write - just because I look okay, doesn't mean I still don't need help. Could I use a couple hours without my kids on a regular basis? Yup. Next time you go to Costco, could you pick up a frozen lasagne for me? Yes please. I don't want to sound greedy or lazy - I just want this information to be available for those who want it. And.believe me, I am so grateful for everything that has already been done for me. So incredibly thankful.
It's so hard for me to ask for help. Sometimes I just need people to do things. Without asking, begging, reminding.
Cause there's a lot going on that my looks just don't share.
Sarah - I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 2005 after being sick for about 6 months. On one trip to the ER (pre-diagnosis) when I was feeling particularly horrible I actually had a doctor say to me, "You look well, so I'm sending you home." I will never, ever forget that comment and how infuriating it was.ReplyDelete