Resolutions. I hate them. Because I always set myself up to fail.
Stop biting my nails, stop cracking my knuckles.
This year - I just want happiness. I want to make choices in my life that induce it. Surround myself with the people and things that conjure up a laugh or smile.
I wouldn't label that a resolution, per se, but rather a more conscious way of living.
2013 was my first full year living with my new normal. Trying to embrace this permanently-revised-version-of-me.
With full candor, it started with incredible amounts of fear and anxiety.
But, the acceptance I have been (impatiently) searching for - regarding my disease - has finally shown its head. The process has been emotionally encompassed. It took about 16 months.
Much longer than anticipated. But I am okay with that.
Now, it feels part of me. Not all of me.
I can inject myself daily, without a second thought, I can deal with symptoms, daily, and move on. And - the big one for me - I can look at young people with canes, wheelchairs, and scooters without that I-need-to-breathe-into-a-bag hypothetical dread.
Of course, it is still an evolving acceptance. One that continues to pose many questions and doubts.
But I am so proud of my 2013. Simply for recognizing and accepting my fate.
Here's to an incredible 2014 for us all!